The Briefs of the American Civil War

This isn't even boxer briefs. Just briefs. Written late at night after a rough day at work, so forgive the somewhat jumpy nature of everything...if you will.

Today, we are going to briefly talk about the entirety of the American Civil War to give you all an understanding of what is going to be covered throughout the quarter.

The American Civil War started in April of 1861. To this day it is the most violent and deadly conflict on the North American continent. So many men died during the war that it will be remembered for a very long time to come.

The war was fought between the United States of America and the Confederate States of America. It was a confusing and frightening time for our country. Bonds were broken, brother fought brother, and families were divided by the formation of the new nation.

We say the war started on April 12, 1861, although it really doesn’t have an official beginning date. The tension between the South and the North slowly built to a boiling point until the elections. Then, when it was clear that Abraham Lincoln was going to be the next President of the United States, the situation became hostile in a hurry.

In December of 1860, South Carolina was the first state to tell everyone that they would rather live in a new country than have to listen to Abraham Lincoln. So, they seceded. No, no, not succeeded, “Seceded”. It means to withdraw from a treaty or alliance. Basically they stopped listening to Abraham Lincoln so that they could elect the President that they wanted. Jefferson Davis was the man for the job.

On April 12, Confederate forces attacked a fort held by Union troops. This is why we say that this was the start of the war. The fort was known as Fort Sumter.

Over the next four years, the Confederate and Union armies would battle for supremacy. The war was full of complicated military maneuvers and vicious battles.

Fighting finally stopped in April of 1865, very nearly 4 years to the day from when it all started. The end of the war was bittersweet for everyone involved. War is not a good thing, so when it is over, it is better for the country. However, this war brought so much death, that whole towns disappeared from the maps. The slaves were free, but they didn’t have places to live. They also didn’t have jobs, so they couldn’t afford to pay for food, clothing, and other necessities.

As if that was not enough, one final tragedy brought this sad tale to a close. On the 14^th of April 1865, President Abraham Lincoln was shot in the back of the head. He lived for just a few more hours before dying. Thus, a war that had claimed more than 600,000 American lives, snatched one more as hostilities were ending.

~The Piebald Penguin

Heads and Heels

The Heart

Why does it beat
with the rhythm of my feet?

It goes where it is led,
but it fights with my head.

Hearts and minds fight,
for the lover's bite.

Yet the touch
means much.

My heart led me to the bar,
but my mind kept me in the car.

The hands on the clock ticked around the circle. The shadows slowly emerged from the darkness. Coffee, cars, cartography, and champions. Irish champions. Laughter and freedom. Trust and time. Pizza and porters. A night, a day, and another night and remembrance of all.

~The Piebald Penguin

Fleeting Freedom

"Fleeting Freedom"

A flurry footsteps echoed across the polished tiles. Forward, back, a spin and a flourish. The drums beat the rhythm as the musicians played the well-known tune. Step. Step. Step. Beat, beat, beat. Hearts thumped in time with the leather-clad instruments. Candles flickered and cast shadows across the walls of marble. The melody wound down; the dancers slowed their steps, final spins bringing women and men together. Their hands raised in applause. Those too tired to continue left a vacant hole in the middle of the crowd, but it was soon filled by others, new to the party. The vocalist called the start of their next piece and, with a count of three, struck her tambourine. Ladies in elegant gowns and gentlemen in fine suits formed lines across from one another. A strike on the tambourine. Masculine hands were extended beyond the dividing line. A jingle of bells. With feminine grace, the hands opposite reached towards their counterparts. A drum beat and another shake of the singer’s instrument. The couples spun together, and the dance was begun again. 

Sometimes, I just wish to dance. I was unable to determine who painted this picture. I also don't know the title. I even copied the image into Google Image search. All I got was that it was a modern painting and on sale. I am going to call it "Fleeting Freedom". The woman is barefoot and that makes me think of someone who is fleet of foot. Nimble, quick, and graceful. Grace brings a measure of freedom. I danced with a barefoot woman once, in an art museum. I wonder if she remembers.

Live life like a dancer. Full of passion and light on your feet. 

~The Piebald Penguin

April, That We May Fool Ourselves Into Believing The World Is As Simple As We Want It To Be

Official Disclaimer: This post has been flagged by The Piebald Penguin as a good-natured joke. Smile. And laugh. For it will keep you young.


"From each according to his [or her!] ability, to each according to his [basically it means "her"] need(s)."

~Karl Marx

Liberty may be a lady, but we know that freedom is not free. It was made for with the blood of men.

Thank you Karl. He hit the nail on the head. Men work, and women spend our money. Obviously, we know that in a perfect world, this is the ideal situation. However, in this world, women tend to spend too much. Self control. That's really what it's about. I believe that we need to quit fooling ourselves. We need to start a war for self control. To bring freedom to everyone. We, men, need to unite today, 1 April 2013, and fight against the tyranny of out of control women. We spend so many hours, each and every day, trying to provide, but in one night of shopping, the women just throw money out into the air. I implore you, men of this world, to stand firm today and help teach women the self control that they lack. We have the ability to teach by example. We just need to be more open about our desires. No more selflessness from us. Fight. For FREEDOM!

Giddyup!*

This message is sponsored by the Men for a Freer America Foundation
*no animals were harmed in the making of this blog
**although some women may have been harmed

~The Piebald Penguin

Do Forget to Write

I started a fire in my kitchen today.

While your first thought was hopefully something along these lines...

It was really even less exciting than...

Oh, it was intentional too. I should probably mention that before I get like a bajillion (scientific term for "a lot") phone calls.

So let me tell you the story. Today, I finally had the energy to clean my room (which is cool and awesome and yay clean rooms!). During said cleaning, I found many interesting things such as:

1. The Christmas presents that I bought for my oldest sister and then forgot to send to her. On an ironic note, I promised her that I would get them to her before Easter...

2. A bunch of fortunes from Panda Express fortune cookies. Apparently, I like to put them everywhere but the trashcan, where they belong.

3. One very official-looking card thingy that turned out to be my dad's baptism card. I have no idea how it got here, but it is probably something that I should return to him. Naturally, rather than sending him a message informing him that I will mail said card back to him, I have decided to publicly post about it on my "anonymous" blog for everyone (including him) to see.

4. 9 empty glasses, 5 dirty plates, 15 empty bottles/cans, and a stack of napkins. So...yeah, that's like half of our glasses and plates. I was wondering why it seemed that we were so short of those things recently.

5. Books everywhere! I thought the fortunes were everywhere, but I was wrong. I have, apparently, stashed books in every nook and cranny possible. Of course, I'm sticking to the belief that there is a book gnome, who steals my books and hides them from me.

6. Two cards, Christmas cards to be exact, from a person I am not allowed the luxury of caring about anymore. They are now dust and ash in a dumpster. And it felt good to watch the yellow-blue flames lick around the edges of the paper. I watched as the glittery decorations on the front bubbled and melted. I swept the remnants of a happier time into a plastic bag and tied it shut. It was cathartic. I have found peace for tonight.

Also, over the last week, I have finished five novels (the shortest being roughly 400 pages and the longest well over 1200) and a lengthy atlas on Armored Warfare. I haven't read so much in such a short time in a very long time.

~The Piebald Penguin

Snarky Snakes and Sounds of the Sound. Also, Sexy Nerds

Blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog

blog blog

blog

boink

oink?

So...I was reflecting on blogs this evening (CRAZY, right?). I decided that my blog is what it is. It used to be sleek and sexy and all kinds of organized and thorough and thoughtful (an organized nerd is basically the new athlete on steroids. It's hot. And it's cheating)

Anyways....what was I talking about? Oh yeah, my blog. Or maybe I was just talking. I think it was probably just the latter. Or was it the ladder? an adder on a ladder. A ladder adder. Would he become a madder ladder adder if we asked him to subtract?

RAWRRRRRRR (snakes say rawr, right? I'm pretty sure I read that in a book one time)

So, we have a madder ladder adder, but what if it was the latter and not the ladder. In which case I would say "splatter the latter and flatter the hatter will be." Ha. Ha. Ha. Ok, my jokes may be as awful as they sound, but... Sounding sounds on the Sound sends sounds southward. Or something. The best part about this is: I'm just making this up as I go. I didn't plan to write a post today. I definitely didn't plan to be in a corny or cheesy (or weird) mood today. But here we are, talking about sounds and snakes. Oh, picture of the Sound

I can't take credit for this picture. I do have my own pictures of the Sound and the Space Needle, but they are on my phone. I am way too lazy to move them from the phone to the computer. Seriously, sending myself an email? So much work. Also, if you hadn't noticed, I'm hoping to win an award for the longest photo caption on a blog with the name Piebald Penguin in it. So far, this is the only caption in the running. But there are bound to be others. At some point. You know, for competition's sake.

Ohhhh! I just had a great idea. I'm going to hold a competition on my blog. I'll be the judge. There will be several different categories. And my previous blog posts will be the things involved in the competition. Yeaahhhh boiiiii (for some reason, unintelligent people spell "boy" as "boiii" when writing out "yeah boy". It seems...unnecessary. But who am I to judge? Unless we're referring to my new competition. In which case, I am the only one to judge! I am THE JUDGE. That is all)

Fin!
~tPP

A RollerCoaster

Perhaps you (all) are waiting on the edge(s) of your seat(s) for the story that was(is) Valentine('s) Day(s of our lives). Perhaps (not). But regardless, here is the story of the day (after) Valentine's Day. The Day that was a success (and a failure at the same time).

The Day started early in the morning. The sun had yet to rise from it's bed on the horizon, but at least the clouds were hiding too. Rain can absolutely ruin everything, thus, it was fortuitous that the day happened to be the one day that week that was going to be rainless. Clouds were high and sparse, wind was light, and the sun would eventually react to its long confinement with anger. But back to the predawn hours of the morning. They involved a stumbling block of a conversation and followed by breakfast. A delightful breakfast. Provided by The Piebald Penguin. French Toast on homemade French bread (again, made by The Piebald Penguin). Blueberry syrup and orange juice complemented the simple fare. (by the way, I highly recommend eating French toast this way. Buy a breadmaker. The bread is easy to make and it only takes a few hours. Then, you have a ready supply of tasty, fresh bread and that is the real secret to amazing French toast)

Ok, so breakfast with Sleeping Beauty was followed by another..uh..disagreement..which was sorted out...mostly. Then, I drove her to a massage parlor for a prearranged hour-long massage (The prearrangement was with the massage place. Sleeping Beauty didn't know about it until that morning). After a relaxing massage, Sleeping Beauty returned to my car, and I drove her to a small nail and hair salon. The next two hours were occupied by a manicure, pedicure, updo, and makeup application (for her, obviously. I was in the car for most of it with the exception of a fun trip to Wendy's where I discovered that I needed a "token" to get into the restroom...basically I had to pay to use it). Beautified, Sleeping Beauty returned from the salon, and we drove back to my place. Lunch was more French toast (this makes me smile). It was already made, and we are young enough to get away with it! Sleeping Beauty took a nap, while I shaved. Then we got ready for dinner. Oh, part of the surprise was that I bought her a dress and shoes and all. I admit that I had help from a friend in picking everything out. Let's be honest, that's the only reason the outfit turned out so well.

Bam!

Dinner was downtown at a fancy(ish) place. It was the first time I've ever been to a fancy(ish) place. I even branched out and tried calamari for the first time. And I ordered a salad, just to complete the image. Then I gorged myself on steak. It was delicious. I mean, really. My steak was fantastic. We drank wine, it was a local pinot noir. We even valet parked. It was quite the experience. Then, the meal was over, the valet was tipped, and we pointed the headlights towards home. We changed back into normal clothes, then she went home. I saw her again twelve days later, and she broke up with me. I'm trying to decide if it's "karma" or perhaps irony? I don't know. Oh well. Thus concludes the story of the successful failure that was my Valentine's Day present.

Stay strong and Carry on!
~The Piebald Penguin

Close Your Eyes

Thinking about life is such a depressing activity. Mostly it's difficult right now because I'm trying to plan a surprise. It's going to be a big surprise, and, if everything works out, it will be amazing. Heck, even if only some of the planned things work out, it should still be amazing. But it's difficult because I have to keep things secret until everything is ready. I can't just say, "look, I'm doing x, y, and z, and now you can tell me how amazing I am." And it's difficult because, I am pouring so much time into this surprise that other things are starting to slip. Like my attitude. And my habits. And sleep. I was late to work a couple days ago. Like really late. But then they didn't need me at work so rushing around willy nilly to get there as fast as I could was all for naught. Oh well. Back to this surprise. It's going to be epic. I will post pictures of it at some point after it's all done, mostly because spoiling it, even in the slightest seems like a bad idea. Maybe I'm too fond of it being a surprise. Who is to say?

Yay for blogs that are mostly just rambling!

~TPP
P.S. it really is going to be a great surprise.

Read about how the surprise turned out here!