Wednesday's Weekly Words Which Water Waste With Wicked Wonder

This week's frustrations are thankfully not about Kant. However, they are still equally frustrating. Let me sum them up for you. Girls make hearts beat too fast, while boys refuse to be men.

Essentially, I find it frustrating that, whenever I talk to a girl I like, my heart rate increases and adrenaline starts pumping into my blood stream. Those of you familiar with anatomy know that adrenaline is good...if you are moving. It gives you energy and acts as one of the best painkillers on the planet (if not the best). Not moving or using your muscles in some way means that the your muscles will start to shake with all the excess energy that's just begging to be released. It's annoying. I've been a bit busy the past couple of nights, so I haven't made it to the gym. But I had to go tonight because I had no other way to release that energy. I ran hard and then worked out and I still felt like I had enough energy to run home. Rather than run again though, I just decided that I would spend the rest of my energy cleaning my room. And girls think that guys annoy them for no reason. It's payback.

Also, guys really need to know how to tie a tie by the time they are in college. If their fathers don't teach them, then they need to be like me and just teach themselves. It's simple. Look, I'll even provide a picture...

P.S. If you are a guy and the girl you are going to the event with knows how to tie a tie, please please please stop embarrassing yourself and take advantage of this opportunity to teach yourself. Oh, and if you don't own a tie, JC Penny usually has ties on clearance for a few bucks (I checked today and there were some for $5). GO BUY ONE. Thank you.

~The Piebald Penguin

You Did What?!?!

Disclaimer: If you are going to Spring Party with the Piebald Penguin, and you somehow stumble upon my blog, please don't read this until after Spring Party. Thank you.

So, I really probably should just wait until Saturday to post this, but that would just be boring. Plus, this way you (my faithful readers...all 4 of you...) get a chance to laugh twice on Tuesday (see previous post).

I want to start this off by saying that I am a hopeless romantic. Both in regards to philosophical viewpoints (Romanticism...I'll get around to talking about that at some point) and in terms of romantic occasions. I was raised with a very traditional view of dating/going on dates. You know, the guy pays, drives, gets flowers, so on. Anywho, so like I've mentioned in a previous post, my college is having a "Spring Party" which is basically a semi-formal banquet. (think suits and nice dresses, as opposed to formal attire which is tuxedos and evening gowns...yes ladies, I know the difference...and I know how to tie a tie...and I'm single. I'm just saying...) So, in terms of hype, it's usually more casual than a high school prom. Guys still ask girls, but it's usually a simple invitation (I was one of those lame guys.) Dinner is usually eaten beforehand (I know. I said banquet, but it's really more of an event. There are usually desserts and drinks (of the non-alcoholic kind) but no real food. So, it's not a banquet. It's one of those cases where my expectations don't meet up with reality...it happens a lot...) So, we all find places to grab dinner that are not the school cafeteria...seriously guys, if you are thinking of offering to take your date to the cafeteria beforehand, DON'T. Get out. Please. Even if you don't think you have the money. Beg, plead, borrow from your parents. Do what you have to to get off campus. Everyone will enjoy the event more and you will get some extremely good life experience. I say, there are so many guys here who don't know how to take a girl out on a date. Sheesh. Anyways. Back to what I really want to talk about. The event isn't super formal. In fact, it ends up being as casual as possible. It's So-Cal. Most guys can't even tie a tie, and a lot of them don't own dress slacks, much less a suit.

The one I ordered will probably resemble the corsage on the right. It will just have navy blue ribbon

Fortunately for my date, I am not like those So-Cal guys. I came from a city that puts a lot of stock in being formal and fancy (rich people tend to dress nicer than not rich people). So guess what I did today? I went shopping for a corsage (oh yeah. I know what those are too). I have a confession to make. I love the smell of florist shops. It's true. I love all the fragrances of fresh flowers mixed together. It's amazing. I spent half an hour just browsing the corsage catalog looking for a good design. Ok, really it was probably about an hour...but that's only because I went to two different shops. I'm serious about my flowers. Now this is where the romantic part of me really shines. I enjoy shopping for little gifts like corsages. Included in this category are stuffed animals, cards, and oh yeah bouquets. Women deserve to be pampered. So, I ordered the corsage, and I will be picking it up in a couple days. Unfortunately, I had to take a leap of faith on the colors, being that my date is female (aka she told me that she is wearing a navy blue dress, but she admitted that she might very well change her mind before Friday). I'm hoping that, in the event that she changes dresses, the corsage is neutral enough to still go. Now comes the sad and the funny part. She's probably going to be the only girl at the event with a corsage. She's going to stick out.  I win. (Although I'm not sure what I win, but we're both graduating in May, so I feel like it's appropriate to stick out a little.)

~The Piebald Penguin

Haha very funny

Get Fuzzy - Darby Conly, April 10, 2011