Can I Get That Without The Bread?

...also can you wash your hands, change your gloves, use a separate pan, and hold the sauce.

I'm starting a new series! I might even start a whole new blog, although that is still just an idea.

The NEW SERIES (caps for emphasis, for some reason) will be titled "Can I Get That Without The Bread". It will focus primarily on the adventures that Sunshine and I have while discovering, together, what it means to be Gluten Free.

Being that this is the first entry in the series, it's probably a good idea to begin with an introduction of the topic. Gluten is a protein found in cereals that include wheat, barley, and rye death. Gluten is death. Well, not really. But hyperbole tends to attract attention. IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!!!! (see? Hyperbole sells.)

Over the last decade or so (give or take a few millennia), humans have been evolving towards extinction. It seems that every so often, we discover one more thing that is very very very dangerous, or it causes cancers, or it just kills you outright. Because reasons. Honestly, though, it seems that the more "enlightened" we become, the more dangerous living becomes.

However, I'm not here to list all the things that could kill you right this very instant. I'm here to talk about gluten. Scientists and doctors (who are really just scientists with a license to experiment on people), have figured out that some people do not cope well with a certain protein known as gluten. More specifically, or more commonly, they are referring to Celiac Disease. Which is essentially the inability to process gluten in the digestive tract.

This can certainly be very harmful to someone with the condition. Thus, a need to avoid gluten-containing products was created. This demand has, quite naturally, attracted new suppliers who wanted to create Gluten Free products for the individuals in need. Manufacturers can now have their products certified with a GF tag, that tells any given person that the food has no more than 20 parts per million of gluten in it.

Look for this on a product. It can be a life saver.

This is a great development. What's more, it is becoming increasingly easier to find producers that are dedicated about being gluten free. They have strict control over their facilities and do their utmost to eliminate cross-contamination, while making their food still taste good. It's a good thing.

What's not as good: At some point, it was determined that being gluten free was trendy. Part of this revolved around certain popular diet programs that attempted to eliminate carbohydrates by removing bread from the menu. The rest of it is just people being people. They want to jump on the bandwagon so there were studies that "proved" that gluten made you fat and gave you heart disease and what not.

The reason that this turned out to be less than ideal for the world of gluten free is as follows: the new trend flood the market with demand for products that were mostly gluten free. An individual who doesn't have to worry about cross-contamination or parts per million can be less discriminating with his diet. As long as it "appears" gluten free than the individual will be satisfied. Thus, restaurants developed gluten free menus, but they failed to train their staff to do simply things like smile and change their gloves when asked. (As an aside, there was once that a Chipotle employee nearly refused to change his gloves, despite a request to do just that. IT'S NOT FREAKING DIFFICULT TO CHANGE YOUR STUPID GLOVES AND STILL SMILE ABOUT IT. I WORK IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY. IT TAKES LIKE 3 SECONDS AND YOU'RE JUST A STUPID SELFISH PERSON WHO BELONGS IN YOUR MOM'S BASEMENT FOREVER).

I digress. Back to the topic at hand!

So, there are now lots of products out there that claim to be gluten free or should be gluten free, but they aren't. For several reasons, a couple of those reasons have already been covered, and the rest seem to follow logically. However, the point of this series is not to get bogged down by a nitty, gritty analysis of gluten and what's ok and what's not. There are a lot of great resources out there. Blogs, books, cook books, and more.

I want this series to focus more on the abstract struggle of becoming gluten free in a world of processed goods, while having some fun in the process.

While I have mentioned Celiac Disease above, that is not actually the issue at hand. You see, Sunshine went to the allergist after having some serious problems with breathing. He ran a ton of scratch tests and, when the results came back, informed her that she was really allergic to rye and barley (there are a few other things on the list to, but those aren't relevant right now).

Now, to clarify: she's not allergic specifically to gluten. However, since both rye and barley contain the protein known as gluten, it is easier to tell someone that she has to be gluten free. Because who knows if something contains rye or barley, am I right? People are ignorant for as long as they can be.

But that's going to be it for this post. I got kinda wordy (that would surprise my middle school English teacher, but apparently no one else). I want to reiterate that I'm not looking to post recipes and dishes on here. While I may do just that from time to time, I feel that there are already a sufficient number of blogs that deal with that. The information is out there.

I really just want people to have the opportunity to connect with a couple that is learning all this in a hurry. It's been life changing. Definitely for Sunshine, and I would hazard to say that it's been very influential in my life as well. I will never believe that I have it worse than she does. But it is a difficult process for both of us. Still, I keep a smile on my face and try to keep one on hers too.

More to come!

~the piebald penguin