Wednesday's Weekly Words Which Water Waste With Wicked Wonder

This week's frustrations are thankfully not about Kant. However, they are still equally frustrating. Let me sum them up for you. Girls make hearts beat too fast, while boys refuse to be men.

Essentially, I find it frustrating that, whenever I talk to a girl I like, my heart rate increases and adrenaline starts pumping into my blood stream. Those of you familiar with anatomy know that adrenaline is good...if you are moving. It gives you energy and acts as one of the best painkillers on the planet (if not the best). Not moving or using your muscles in some way means that the your muscles will start to shake with all the excess energy that's just begging to be released. It's annoying. I've been a bit busy the past couple of nights, so I haven't made it to the gym. But I had to go tonight because I had no other way to release that energy. I ran hard and then worked out and I still felt like I had enough energy to run home. Rather than run again though, I just decided that I would spend the rest of my energy cleaning my room. And girls think that guys annoy them for no reason. It's payback.

Also, guys really need to know how to tie a tie by the time they are in college. If their fathers don't teach them, then they need to be like me and just teach themselves. It's simple. Look, I'll even provide a picture...

P.S. If you are a guy and the girl you are going to the event with knows how to tie a tie, please please please stop embarrassing yourself and take advantage of this opportunity to teach yourself. Oh, and if you don't own a tie, JC Penny usually has ties on clearance for a few bucks (I checked today and there were some for $5). GO BUY ONE. Thank you.

~The Piebald Penguin

You Did What?!?!

Disclaimer: If you are going to Spring Party with the Piebald Penguin, and you somehow stumble upon my blog, please don't read this until after Spring Party. Thank you.

So, I really probably should just wait until Saturday to post this, but that would just be boring. Plus, this way you (my faithful readers...all 4 of you...) get a chance to laugh twice on Tuesday (see previous post).

I want to start this off by saying that I am a hopeless romantic. Both in regards to philosophical viewpoints (Romanticism...I'll get around to talking about that at some point) and in terms of romantic occasions. I was raised with a very traditional view of dating/going on dates. You know, the guy pays, drives, gets flowers, so on. Anywho, so like I've mentioned in a previous post, my college is having a "Spring Party" which is basically a semi-formal banquet. (think suits and nice dresses, as opposed to formal attire which is tuxedos and evening gowns...yes ladies, I know the difference...and I know how to tie a tie...and I'm single. I'm just saying...) So, in terms of hype, it's usually more casual than a high school prom. Guys still ask girls, but it's usually a simple invitation (I was one of those lame guys.) Dinner is usually eaten beforehand (I know. I said banquet, but it's really more of an event. There are usually desserts and drinks (of the non-alcoholic kind) but no real food. So, it's not a banquet. It's one of those cases where my expectations don't meet up with reality...it happens a lot...) So, we all find places to grab dinner that are not the school cafeteria...seriously guys, if you are thinking of offering to take your date to the cafeteria beforehand, DON'T. Get out. Please. Even if you don't think you have the money. Beg, plead, borrow from your parents. Do what you have to to get off campus. Everyone will enjoy the event more and you will get some extremely good life experience. I say, there are so many guys here who don't know how to take a girl out on a date. Sheesh. Anyways. Back to what I really want to talk about. The event isn't super formal. In fact, it ends up being as casual as possible. It's So-Cal. Most guys can't even tie a tie, and a lot of them don't own dress slacks, much less a suit.

The one I ordered will probably resemble the corsage on the right. It will just have navy blue ribbon

Fortunately for my date, I am not like those So-Cal guys. I came from a city that puts a lot of stock in being formal and fancy (rich people tend to dress nicer than not rich people). So guess what I did today? I went shopping for a corsage (oh yeah. I know what those are too). I have a confession to make. I love the smell of florist shops. It's true. I love all the fragrances of fresh flowers mixed together. It's amazing. I spent half an hour just browsing the corsage catalog looking for a good design. Ok, really it was probably about an hour...but that's only because I went to two different shops. I'm serious about my flowers. Now this is where the romantic part of me really shines. I enjoy shopping for little gifts like corsages. Included in this category are stuffed animals, cards, and oh yeah bouquets. Women deserve to be pampered. So, I ordered the corsage, and I will be picking it up in a couple days. Unfortunately, I had to take a leap of faith on the colors, being that my date is female (aka she told me that she is wearing a navy blue dress, but she admitted that she might very well change her mind before Friday). I'm hoping that, in the event that she changes dresses, the corsage is neutral enough to still go. Now comes the sad and the funny part. She's probably going to be the only girl at the event with a corsage. She's going to stick out.  I win. (Although I'm not sure what I win, but we're both graduating in May, so I feel like it's appropriate to stick out a little.)

~The Piebald Penguin

Haha very funny

Get Fuzzy - Darby Conly, April 10, 2011

Fiction Time

Footsteps echoed on polished stone tiles. The steady click click grew louder as the person, most likely her mother, came closer. Kathrine continued playing her violin. There certainly wasn't any reason to stop. The woman who had given birth to Kathrine and her two siblings was not a woman to trifled with, which was exactly the reason for Kathrine's reluctance to acknowledge her mother's approaching presence. Both their tempers were legendary, known far and wide across her father's kingdom. The clicking stopped. Kathrine played on, her back to the doorway. There was a soft noise behind her. It sounded like crying. Kathrine wondered why it sounded like that. She turned to face the person and let out a gasp of surprise. The violin fell from her hands and shattered on the hard tile, unnoticed by either person. Regaining her poise, Kathrine turned a critical eye towards the young woman standing before her. It was one of her mother's handmaidens. Kathrine almost didn't recognize her. Her face was red and puffy, one eye was swollen shut. Blood liberally coated her dress, hands, and face.

Times Remembered

Day 1: Enough said.

This was the end of my freshman year. My hair has a mind of its own.

They were all so happy to be at my 20th birthday party... (Sophomore Year)

My roommate and I decided against dressing up at the '30s-theme party (Junior Year)

I may work in a library, but we do know how to have fun. :)

Unfortunately, the two girls in the foreground have me for a friend. (Senior Year)

 ~The Piebald Penguin

The Signficance of the Number 35

Exactly five weeks from this hour, the Piebald Penguin will be standing on a football field, surrounded by his friends and family. Goodbyes will be said, times will be reminisced, and pictures will be taken. It's a major crossroads in my life. The end of an era. The beginning of the next segment of my existence. A chance to start fresh, as I reintegrate myself into society. It will be a bittersweet moment in my life. The sweet freedom of being truly on my own, ready to take on the world, cannot be denied. At the same time, I will be leaving the majority of my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances behind. It's that kind of moment that makes you wish for a thousand more days to spend time with your friends. Four years is a long time. College life lends itself towards unique friendships. You live in close proximity to a lot of people; you eat meals together in the caf; you see each other in your 8am classes. Getting to know my friends, sharing my life with them, has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Truly. I love my friends. So, while I'm excited to go off and conquer the world, I am reluctant to leave the people I know. But, whether I want to or not, 5 weeks means 35 days. 10 of those are weekend days. 2 are days we have off class. The last 5 comprise finals week and graduation day. That means that there are a measly 18 days of actual class left. It seems that whole weeks go by in a single blink of the eye. We are rushing towards the end like a train without breaks.

~The Piebald Penguin

Working Out

I hate women. Now, before I get flamed for such a rash statement, let me start from the beginning.

I don't hate women. In fact, it's the exact opposite. So what's the deal with that sudden outburst of feeling? Allow me to explain.

The trouble all started early last week. Monday to be exact. You see, my college holds a semi-formal banquet once a year in the spring. Being that it's my last year of college, I knew that I was going to go (it's just one of those things). Naturally, I can't go by myself...that's just lame. And it's also lame for a guy to go with other guys. Sorry, it just is. Girls can get away with it if they don't get asked, but I guy who goes with a group of guys is really just lame. Plus, I had a girl in mind that I wanted to go with. So, I asked her. I was all cool as a mountain stream and suave like the shampoo. I went up to her, and was like, "Hey." And her knees buckled and her heart skipped several beats because the Piebald Penguin had noticed that she existed. Obviously she agreed to go to the banquet with me. I mean, it's the Piebald Penguin we're talking about. It's not so much about asking, as it is about pointing the finger towards the lucky lady who gets to accompany me....

Anyways....

This is me, just chilling on my bike

So I asked and she agreed. And this weekend I was thinking about it. And I decided that I really needed to fix some things about myself. Namely, my lack of muscle tone. Basically I'm a combination between a little boy and a toothpick. My friends joke that when I turn sideways, I disappear. And that's just unacceptable at this point in my life. So, I did what any guy my age would do. I went to the gym and started working out. Now, this week has not been particularly kind to me. I've been feeling like crap the last four or five days. But did I let that stop me? No, of course not. I needed to work out to make sure that the girl was at least a little impressed. Sigh. Today was especially bad. All my muscles are in pain, my eyes shut, regardless of what's going on, and I've been suffering from allergies. But I knew that if I didn't at least go to the gym today, then I wouldn't ever make it back. And again, it's all about making the right impression, right? So I promised myself that I would go and just run a mile and be done (I really was just feeling awful). I got to the gym and noticed an empty treadmill. I trudged over to it. On my way there, I saw a girl that's in one of my classes. She's one of those girls who I know...just not very well...like I don't think I've ever had a conversation with her outside of class, but we both started the same year, so there's some familiarity. At any rate, she was in the gym, using an elliptical. I thought to myself, "great, I hate working out around people I know". But I got on the treadmill and started running. As my mile marker was approaching, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to just run a mile. It came down to this: I couldn't let her think that I was some kind of sissy. She certainly doesn't know that I'm tired enough to fall over where I'm standing and really shouldn't be in the gym at all. But I did what any sane man would do. I started working out in earnest. By the time she finally left the gym, I was ready to die. My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my everything hurt. And it's all her fault. So now you can see why I hate women. They make me do incredibly stupid things. I still think it was a bad idea, although I feel a little better now.

~The Piebald Penguin