Pearls Before Swine - by Stephan Pastis, March 7, 2011
Get Fuzzy - by Darby Conley, March 6, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Some afternoon chuckles
Tuesdays are quiet days for me, so here are a couple comics from this last week that I found amusing.
The Collapsing of the World
Our newspapers (and their online equivalents) are filled to the brim with stories about the unrest in the Middle East. Today's papers brought us the horrific news that the riots were spreading to Saudi Arabia. Libya has been under UN economic sanctions that are just started to hit home, with many major American oil companies supposedly cancelling their trade deals with that broken nation. If the riots in Saudi Arabia spread, we could witness a global shortage of oil (being that they are one of the largest oil producing nations in the world).
Oil problems aside, the Democrats from Wisconsin have finally agreed to end their childish ways and return to the state. This will allow the state legislature to pass a bill that will harm the unions. It made me incredibly frustrated that the people of Wisconsin would elect men (and women?) who think so little of democracy that they believe the world should revolve around their ways.
As this is the first Monday night current event (that will post as Tuesday...Awesome, right?), I think I'm going to end it now. I'm not really sure how long I want these to be, so it will have to be trial and error.
~The Piebald Penguin
Oil problems aside, the Democrats from Wisconsin have finally agreed to end their childish ways and return to the state. This will allow the state legislature to pass a bill that will harm the unions. It made me incredibly frustrated that the people of Wisconsin would elect men (and women?) who think so little of democracy that they believe the world should revolve around their ways.
As this is the first Monday night current event (that will post as Tuesday...Awesome, right?), I think I'm going to end it now. I'm not really sure how long I want these to be, so it will have to be trial and error.
~The Piebald Penguin
Those Crazy Cousins Who Break Into Houses
My Monday evening current event will be posted later tonight, but first, I would like to share a rather amusing story.
The story begins on an exciting Christmas break vacation that my family took several years ago. We had been invited to spend Christmas with our cousins who lived near San Francisco. They had a gorgeous house in the mountains a little way from the city. Christmas day came and went and everyone had a lot of fun. There were laughs and children and presents all around and games (this was the first and only time that I played Settlers of Catan, for the record). My family's flight back home was scheduled a couple days after Christmas. However, there was a slight conflict in the scheduling in that my cousins were going to leave for a vacation the day before our flight. They graciously allowed us to spend the night in their house regardless. Unfortunately, we were going to have no way to get their house key back to them. So an elaborate scheme was concocted.
The concocted plan was a thing of beauty. Our flight was early in the morning, so we would get a few hours of sleep (with the exception of my brother who opted to just stay up the whole night). When our alarms went off at 3:30am we would awake and finish packing our belongings into our rental car. With the packing finished, we fished around our food stores and ate a very minimal breakfast (think granola bars and the like). A last once-over of the house, and it would be time for us to exit the house. Not wanting to take a key with us, I was volunteered as the one who would stay in the house to lock the front door. It was then that I was instructed to leave through the garage. The trick to this was that I had to push the button to close the garage door, then promptly get out, making sure to hop over the sensor at the end (without this final touch, the door would have rolled back up). A real life obstacle course. And it was awesome. I my performance was marvelous and flawless. The garage door closed with a reassuring thud. We assembled by the car and got in.
At this point it's still very early in the morning (like 4am), so it was still pitch black. We still had plenty of time to make it to the airport for our flight (my family is like that, they plan to be at the airport 2 hours in advance).
It wasn't until we were in the car that my mom realized that she didn't have the car key (to those of you unfamiliar with cars, keys are essential in most cars if you want to start the ignition, which allows the car to be driven). Now this is a serious problem. We are outside the house that is securely locked, but our car key is inside the house. Oh, and at this point in time none of us had cell phones...not even my mom. Winning plan, right? Yep. 4am, without keys, or phones...and with a deadline. So we did the only sensible thing. We knocked on the neighbor's door. Fortunately, the husband of that family was an early riser. Being that the neighbors did not have a spare key, we contacted a locksmith. The locksmith arrived a short time later. Of course, the locksmith wasn't about to just break into someone's house for us (really? That would have been awesome). So, we had Superman impersonate my cousin (they don't look alike, but what did the locksmith know?) and forge his signature. The locksmith got us in and left. We got the key, and I navigated through the obstacle course for the second time that morning. This time, we managed to actually leave. And we even made it to the airport. Unfortunately, we ended up having to fly standby.
The moral of the story is...if you ever need to get into a house, impersonate the owner and get a locksmith to pick the lock for you. It's almost legal...
~The Piebald Penguin
The story begins on an exciting Christmas break vacation that my family took several years ago. We had been invited to spend Christmas with our cousins who lived near San Francisco. They had a gorgeous house in the mountains a little way from the city. Christmas day came and went and everyone had a lot of fun. There were laughs and children and presents all around and games (this was the first and only time that I played Settlers of Catan, for the record). My family's flight back home was scheduled a couple days after Christmas. However, there was a slight conflict in the scheduling in that my cousins were going to leave for a vacation the day before our flight. They graciously allowed us to spend the night in their house regardless. Unfortunately, we were going to have no way to get their house key back to them. So an elaborate scheme was concocted.
The concocted plan was a thing of beauty. Our flight was early in the morning, so we would get a few hours of sleep (with the exception of my brother who opted to just stay up the whole night). When our alarms went off at 3:30am we would awake and finish packing our belongings into our rental car. With the packing finished, we fished around our food stores and ate a very minimal breakfast (think granola bars and the like). A last once-over of the house, and it would be time for us to exit the house. Not wanting to take a key with us, I was volunteered as the one who would stay in the house to lock the front door. It was then that I was instructed to leave through the garage. The trick to this was that I had to push the button to close the garage door, then promptly get out, making sure to hop over the sensor at the end (without this final touch, the door would have rolled back up). A real life obstacle course. And it was awesome. I my performance was marvelous and flawless. The garage door closed with a reassuring thud. We assembled by the car and got in.
At this point it's still very early in the morning (like 4am), so it was still pitch black. We still had plenty of time to make it to the airport for our flight (my family is like that, they plan to be at the airport 2 hours in advance).
It wasn't until we were in the car that my mom realized that she didn't have the car key (to those of you unfamiliar with cars, keys are essential in most cars if you want to start the ignition, which allows the car to be driven). Now this is a serious problem. We are outside the house that is securely locked, but our car key is inside the house. Oh, and at this point in time none of us had cell phones...not even my mom. Winning plan, right? Yep. 4am, without keys, or phones...and with a deadline. So we did the only sensible thing. We knocked on the neighbor's door. Fortunately, the husband of that family was an early riser. Being that the neighbors did not have a spare key, we contacted a locksmith. The locksmith arrived a short time later. Of course, the locksmith wasn't about to just break into someone's house for us (really? That would have been awesome). So, we had Superman impersonate my cousin (they don't look alike, but what did the locksmith know?) and forge his signature. The locksmith got us in and left. We got the key, and I navigated through the obstacle course for the second time that morning. This time, we managed to actually leave. And we even made it to the airport. Unfortunately, we ended up having to fly standby.
The moral of the story is...if you ever need to get into a house, impersonate the owner and get a locksmith to pick the lock for you. It's almost legal...
~The Piebald Penguin
Monday, March 7, 2011
The Old Earth
A recent assignment that I was given was to read a certain blog post. The post in consideration was written by a pastor in an attempt to share his view of 6 day creation. Rather than taint the man's views with my own bias, I will let you all check it out on your own. Feel free to comment below my post and tell me what you think.
http://biologos.org/blog/when-appearances-are-deceiving/P60/
In unrelated news, the power went out in my house.
~The Piebald Penguin
http://biologos.org/blog/when-appearances-are-deceiving/P60/
In unrelated news, the power went out in my house.
~The Piebald Penguin
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Perceptions of 1 Corinthians 13
While it wasn't a traditional sermon, I would like to share my thoughts given at my friends' wedding this weekend. The pastor used 1 Corinthians 13 as the basis for his message on love and marriage. Of course, this is a common passage for ceremonies of this nature, so it wasn't the novelty of the passage that drew my attention. Rather, it was, perhaps, simply hearing it again that simply drew my attention to the last verse in the chapter. "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor. 13:13, NIV)
Taking the first sentence in conjunction with the second sentence, it seems that Paul has ordered these virtues based on their importance to the believer. And what struck me as interesting was that faith was last (well, first in the list, which would mean that it was relative to the least greatest). I understand that all three are essential qualities, but I feel like some believers put them out of order. In my experience, when someone goes through a difficult time, there are many Christians who will encourage this believer to "have more faith". My thought is, perhaps we should be encouraging him to have more love as well?
Taking the first sentence in conjunction with the second sentence, it seems that Paul has ordered these virtues based on their importance to the believer. And what struck me as interesting was that faith was last (well, first in the list, which would mean that it was relative to the least greatest). I understand that all three are essential qualities, but I feel like some believers put them out of order. In my experience, when someone goes through a difficult time, there are many Christians who will encourage this believer to "have more faith". My thought is, perhaps we should be encouraging him to have more love as well?
Silence
With a sickening crunch, they hammered into one another. Metal and rubber screeched in agony, like a bird felled from the sky with an arrow. The two had become one as the glass shattered and skittered across the earth. Spinning wildly, madly, the stressed joints screamed as one with a voice as loud as the roaring of the great waterfalls. The asphalt was torn asunder as the ungainly beast erratically skimmed and skipped and bounced across the surface. The paint was shorn off as contact with the steel rail was made. The rail bent, groaned, and snapped as the momentum carried it forward. Chaotic and insurmountable, the edge of the precipice was advanced upon, its guardian already conquered. And then, with a sudden lurch, that too was defeated. Silence reigned as the wounded beast plummeted to the welcoming earth far below. Its blood red paint, drawn at such a dreadful cost by the rail, and the destroyed pavement were all that remained, silent witnesses to the viciously swift attack. With a sickening crunch, the beast was driven into the unrelenting land.
Silence reigned Supreme.
Silence reigned Supreme.
Measles, Mumps, and Rubella
Consumed.
I fade away.
You are there,
always close by.
Waiting, perpetually waiting
Until I come to you
and we are reunited again.
The hills are green,
the grass is soft.
We fall to the warm earth,
held in its embrace for but a moment.
In that fleeting instant,
I lose myself in your eyes,
eyes like rolling, roiling oceans.
Alas, reality pulls us apart.
Confronted by harsh lights,
bleak walls, endless routine.
My mind wanders,
and I am consumed once more.
Consumed.
We are running fast,
fast as our feet will carry us
but why run when we can walk?
We will get to where we are going
yet we will spend more time together.
For the end of our journey
need not be something we rush towards.
For that matter, why must we move at all?
I am content in your presence and you in mine,
so let us stay here forever and ever.
Me and you, just the two.
Alas, the bliss is shattered yet again
by the dull, colorless monotony of reality.
Until we meet again, love,
swim in the clouds and sing with the birds.
Wait for me.
Consumed
I run to find you
but you are not there.
Even my dreams
mimic reality.
The flames engulf me.
I am consumed.
Sometimes I write poetry for girls. So far, it hasn't had the desired effect.
I fade away.
You are there,
always close by.
Waiting, perpetually waiting
Until I come to you
and we are reunited again.
The hills are green,
the grass is soft.
We fall to the warm earth,
held in its embrace for but a moment.
In that fleeting instant,
I lose myself in your eyes,
eyes like rolling, roiling oceans.
Alas, reality pulls us apart.
Confronted by harsh lights,
bleak walls, endless routine.
My mind wanders,
and I am consumed once more.
Consumed.
We are running fast,
fast as our feet will carry us
but why run when we can walk?
We will get to where we are going
yet we will spend more time together.
For the end of our journey
need not be something we rush towards.
For that matter, why must we move at all?
I am content in your presence and you in mine,
so let us stay here forever and ever.
Me and you, just the two.
Alas, the bliss is shattered yet again
by the dull, colorless monotony of reality.
Until we meet again, love,
swim in the clouds and sing with the birds.
Wait for me.
Consumed
I run to find you
but you are not there.
Even my dreams
mimic reality.
The flames engulf me.
I am consumed.
Sometimes I write poetry for girls. So far, it hasn't had the desired effect.
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