In lieu of a rant about Kant and other ethics related issues, today's post will be frequently asked questions (FAQ) at the place of my employment. Those asking the questions are all at least between the ages of 18 and 22 (it's a university campus library).
Q: How many books can I check out?
A: As many as you want! (Unless you're part of a certain group of people that has been known to literally bring laundry baskets to the library with which to hold their books...I mean, really? You need that many books in one trip? You live down the street. Thanks for taking whole shelves of books and leaving none for the rest of us...ok, that's so ridiculous that if you fall into this certain group, you are limited to 15 books.)
Q: What's the most books anyone has ever checked out?
A: I believe the record is 75 books at one time. Of course, there have been higher total counts, but that guy takes the prize for the most books in one trip.
Q: What are your hours?
A: Hours are posted on our front door (you walk right by them on your way in) and on our website (for those who have figured out how to turn on their computers),.
Q: What are the hours for the bookstore?
A: This is the library...not an information kiosk.
Q: (Typical phone call) Can you transfer me to the bookstore?
A: ... the university has a switchboard for a reason... (it even gives you a list of extensions in the event that the receptionist is not available...or you could just look the number up on the university's website....I know, novel concept.)
Q: Am I allowed to bring food in the library?
A: Sure...ignore that sign right in front of you that says "NO Food in the library" (In the person's defense, the sign is only at eye-level on the front door. So if said person managed to use a teleporter device to beam directly into the building, then he would definitely miss the sign)
Q: I'm not planning on eating my food in here, is it ok if I just keep it with me?
A: Well, if it were an issue with you eating your food in here, then we would have phrased the sign differently...like "No eating your food in the library"
Q: Where are the restrooms?
A: Follow the signs.
Q: How do I print?
A: The same way you do on any computer...
Q: Do your student computers have Microsoft Word?
A: Yes.
Q: Ok, I can't find Microsoft Word, what should I do?
A: Did you click the start button, go to all programs, then find the folder marked "Microsoft Office"?
Q: I need a book, can you help me find it?
A: Absolutely! What's the title of the book?
Q: Ok, well I don't actually know the title...or the author...but I know that it's about _____, at least, I think that's what it's about.
A: Maybe you should try using our online catalog to look for it yourself, since that's really vague...
Q: I have the call number for the book, but I think the book is missing.
A: Let me take a look. (I look for the book...and find it...right where it's supposed to be, ironically)
Q: How do I open the door?
A: The door pulls towards you when you enter. You push it to go out.
Ok, no one has actually asked me that last one, but they definitely should. It's amazing how many people don't understand that a handle on the door means you pull, and a horizontal bar across the width of the door means you push. Remember, these are college students we're talking about...it's not like they're still learning how to tie their shoes. Although, in their defense, it has been my observation that the majority of people, who get confused about the door, are women. People who run into that door are usually the highlight of my work day.
~The Piebald Penguin
2 comments:
You so funny! I wish I could watch you answer questions just like that all the time. You can be the designated question answerer in our house. I get asked questions like, "Why do I always have to wipe my bottom when I go potty?" And "Why do you keep telling me to change my underwear, like EVERY day?!" I wish I had witty answers for those.
My favorite recent one was this:
Student: "Um....hi....I, um, ...need to watch a video? ....for world history? ....prof jensen..."
Me (smiling like a friendly neighborhood librarian): "Yes. Which video do you want?"
Student: "Um, ....where do I get them? do I get them here at this desk?"
Me (not as sarcastically as I would have liked to): "Yes. Hence the question of which video you want..."
Last semester favorite:
*a whole family comes in the front door through the construction, ignoring the huge red eye-level signs that said "Construction zone! This is NOT an entrance to the library! Go around to the left of the building and enter through the side door" etc*
Mom of the family: "Is this the admissions building?"
Me: "No, this is the library. The admissions building is the next building over from here." *pointing in the general direction they need to go*
Mom (indignantly): "I THOUGHT the sign said this WASN'T an entrance to the library!"
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