Donkeys!

It is said that there are bosses and then there managers. Or something like that. That's what this post is about tonight. Managers and bosses.

They think they're so special...just because they make lots of money and get to boss people around....but I'm not jealous, nooo

So let's start with a funny story. Day 1: Orientation. It consists of watching lame videos about the workplace and signing forms that say the company owns you until they decide to fire you. It's a lame day, but you get paid to sit there so...sign me up! Anyways, so orientation had been going on for a couple hours at the point that this story takes place. So, I was bored, a bit tired (from all the hard work...lol), and stir crazy. We were covering the employee handbook when the manager finally got to the spot in the manual where it talks about blogging about the workplace. Being the overachiever that I am, I had already glanced at the contents of the manual and read this particular rule, so it had set my mind thinking. Basically the rule states that employees of this particular establishment can get fired for posting negative things on the interwebs about the company or its employees. Ok, but it seemed like they were implying that we just couldn't explicitly say negative things. But I have an anonymous blog, in which I pour out the frustrations and joys of life. Thus, when the manager brought up this rule, I asked, in all innocence and under the assumption that orientation is a time for asking questions and being free from judgment, if this rule covered anonymous blog posts. Obviously I didn't want to get fired if I posted something on my anonymous blog that could have been construed as negative by another individual. I'm a careful person. My manager just stared at me with a look of incredulity and one of the other new employees blurted out, "What kind of a question is that?!?"

Folks, look. This is the problem with people today. They open the floor for questions, and then they judge you based on which questions you ask. The girl who couldn't keep her mouth shut asked, later on, if she was allowed to wear her hair in a side ponytail as opposed to a normal one. That's a stupid question. But the manager answered her and didn't look down on her. I ask a question because I want to clarify, what I thought to be, a murky rule, and I got looked down upon, as if anonymous blogging was something obscene. Seriously. Well, guess what? I'm going to keep it anonymous, but I'm going to vent on my blog. FREEEEEEEEEDDDOOOMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (of speech) lol

~TPP
P.S. Don't tell my boss...

College, Caffeine, and Cwork

Cwork (pronounced "Ka-work"...not "Quirk" or "See-Work")

I had to add a "C" to work so that my title would alliterate well, but I assure you, Cwork is just as fun as real work. A coworker had a wedding on Saturday, so a lot of the employees who had been there for a number of years sent in time-off requests. As a result, The Piebald Penguin had the privilege of working his first double shift at this job. 10 am - 10 pm. It was a long day with very few breaks, and I was exceptionally tired at the end. Still, you won't here me complain about it because I made a decent amount of money.

Caffeine

The main focus of this post will be on the legal drug known as caffeine. A stimulant that affects the central nervous system, caffeine increases a person's alertness and helps fight many of the common side effects caused by sleep deprivation. According to Wikipedia, roughly 90% of Americans consume caffeine, in one form or another, daily. We are a culture built around pushing ourselves to the limits. Some societies have developed other ways to combat fatigue, such as the mid-afternoon siestas in Spain, but citizens of the United States of America could never settle for such a slow lifestyle. I bring up caffeine because that is certainly how I had the strength to get through 12 hours of non-stop action at work. I don't have the luxury of sitting in a chair at work, nor do we even get a lunch break to stop and breathe. Once I clock in, it's go, go, go until the end. Still, my job is not mentally taxing, giving me plenty of time to ponder the great mysteries of life. The one that I mulled over in my mind that night was one that I think about on occasion...

College

That mystery has been with me since college. It's this: what is the purpose of college? See, for me, college played a vital role in my life, but not because I got a piece of paper at the end of 4 years saying that I can add, subtract, integrate and confound lesser men with my skills in logic. Rather, college forced me to develop a keen sense of what my body can and cannot do. It's a well-documented fact that the human body has limits. In college, I witness a good number of people who pushed those limits every single day. And you could tell by simply gazing at their worn, haggard faces and their slumped shoulders. You could tell that each step was a nightmare, each second passed even more painstakingly than the last. Then, there were others who shied away from pushing their bodies at all. They would complain that 10pm was their strict bedtime. A slight disruption in their eating schedule made them cranky and unbearable.

The former person obviously lives an unhealthy lifestyle due to the consistent strain he places on his body. Eventually this person will actually cause permanent damage to his body and that is not desirable in any given situation. The latter individual also lives an unhealthy lifestyle. Simply put, in the likely event that this person is subjected to any amount of physical or emotional strain, said person's body will be not be prepared to handle the stress of the situation. This could easily lead to the person shutting down in the midst of a crisis, or simply being unable to focus during a test following a late night of studying.

Thus, college is an important time in anyone's life. It should teach him how to handle stress. How to push his body to the limits, but also how to rest, relax, and let the worries of the world fall harmlessly at his feet. For me, I found a place of balance. I learned what my normal limits were, and I learned what I could do with stimulants, such as caffeine and sugar. I also learned how much rest I needed after pushing my body passed the norm, and I sincerely believe that this was one of the greatest lessons that I learned in college. Because this lesson is one that I can apply to the rest of my life.

I bet this guy regretted not having that cup of coffee...

As the seasons change, life changes too. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.  = )
~TPP

Things That Don't Go Well Together

1. Calculus and Spelling

This is from a test revision sheet typed up by a math professor

2. Algebra and English

Luann - Greg Evans, 25 September 2011

3. Sippy Cups and a Disney Princess's Waistline

Seriously?!?

4. The Piebald Penguin and Lots of Alcohol

                                                                                Sorry, no pictures...

Stay Cool, Stay Fresh, and Most Importantly, Don't Forget to Capitalize.
~The Piebald Penguin

This Post Needs a Title

Awesome.

The Piebald Penguin has been very very busy...ok maybe I should add another very in there. I got a job, finally. But I think that's old news. Still, after two weeks on the job, I can say with confidence that I am enjoying it. It's tiring and soreness-inducing, but other than that, I actually like it. Which is weird because you would think that I wouldn't like it, being that it's one of those jobs that you would think would be hated by all. I'm a busser at a popular restaurant. I won't say which one. And yes, I enjoy it. I have fun knowing that I help my restaurant make money. I've always been a behind-the-scenes kind of guy. It brings me pleasure to know that I keep things running and no one even notices me...at least, none of the customers notice me. I know I'm invisible to them. It works out better that way. The servers are all getting to know me though. They say nice things to me and nice things about me to the managers. Apparently it's unusual for someone of my...skin color...to be a good busser. That makes me laugh. I do love breaking stereotypes. :)

It's "fast paced" but that just gives me more energy. I probably end up walking several miles each night, but again, it's a thrill. It's a pleasant change from the quiet order of a library. Controlled chaos. Pure bliss. I'm constantly amazed how well the system works. Everything just runs. People do their jobs, tables get cleaned, customers get seated, get their drinks, get their food, get gone (sorry, I couldn't resist) and then the tables get cleaned again. The cogs fit together seamlessly. You'd think that with 20 people going every which way at any given minute there would be more accidents and craziness. But that's where you'd be wrong. So, yeah. I enjoy it. Maybe I'll become a server someday, but maybe not.

Also, I had a nice little chat with one of the pretty waitresses at my restaurant today (Seriously, they're all attractive...sometimes I think I've died and gone to heaven...) Anyways....it wasn't anything game changing, but it did make me a little happier inside. Yep. That's my post for the week. Sorry, I haven't been able to blog more. I'm still getting used to the hours. Hopefully I'll be able to find more time.

~The Piebald Penguin

Desperate Gambit

Here's a sneak peek from my from novel. Note, it hasn't really been edited yet because I haven't had the time. So, there are probably some grammar errors and what not (don't hold it against me, I've been busy!)

“Evie! We need to go. Now!” Layne spun and dropped to one knee, narrowly avoiding the thick shaft of wood that swooshed over his head. He rolled to the side, dodging the man’s backswing. Layne shouted in frustration and anger as his dagger flashed momentarily before it disappeared into the other man’s thigh. A man’s scream of pain and the clatter of a dropped weapon joined the cacophony of battle. Layne pulled the slender blade from the man’s collapsing body and turned back towards Evie. “Evie, now can we go? We need to get out of here before more guards show up.”

Evelyn stopped rummaging through the oak chest and glanced around the room. She did a quick count in her head. “Thirteen. A bit few, huh? And here I thought you were enjoying the opportunity to play the ‘knight-in-shining-armor role and killing everyone for me.” Layne flinched and took a step back. He cast his eyes on the ground before replying meekly, “You know I can’t control it. Ah, so much blood. What have I done? What have I become?”

“Layne, calm down, I was only teasing. Thanking for coming back for me. But I really need to find that book. I saw Drogan throw it in here the last time he had me brought up here…” Evelyn turned back to Drogan’s storage chest.

Layne was in the process of voicing his opinion of her when the scuff of a boot and the twang of a bowstring announced the presence of another. Layne’s head snapped around as time slowed to a stop. Adrenaline, powered by the blood of the Wardens, enhanced his perception of the situation. He could see beads of sweat hanging from the guard’s furrowed brow. Dust particles were flying in all directions away from the released bowstring and the arrow seemed to be driving a wedge between air molecules. As he prepared to jump out of the way, Layne calculated the trajectory of the air. Something was terribly wrong. It was the set in the man’s gaze. Hatred, yes, but also familiarity. And then Layne understood his mistake.

The bowman was not aiming at him. The arrow was streaking straight towards Evie’s unprotected back. There was not time for thought. Layne’s legs acted out of instinct, hurtling his body towards his oblivious companion.

Time slammed back into normalcy in an explosion of sound, chaos, and pain. Layne’s lanky form smashed into Evie just as she exclaimed, “I found it, La- ooff!” Evie was flung across the room, a bewildered expression on her face and a small, leather-bound book clutched tightly in her hand. Pain lanced through Layne’s body, as the deadly arrowhead dug into the muscle of his shoulder. Layne pivoted and sprinted towards the doorway and the guard beyond. Anger fueled the adrenaline-induced frenzy. With inhuman speed and grace, Layne leapt over the inert bodies of the slain guards and landed mere inches from Evie’s would-be murderer. Not even bothering to reach for the gleaming blade at his side, Layne struck the guard in the chest with his open palm. A loud crack accompanied the strike, as the man’s sternum cracked and crushed the soft, vital organs beneath it. The guard, like a puppet whose strings had been cut, crumpled to the ground. Lifeless eyes stared back at Layne.

Layne’s eyes flicked up at the sound of heavy, booted footfalls on stone. He stepped back from the corpse at his feet and rested his hands on the hilt of his sword as yet another guard come around the corner. Layne found the moment to be, oddly, surreal. The guard raised his voice and his weapon and charged down the narrow corridor. Layne’s slow, steady heartbeats measured time like a drum on a parade ground. He filled his lungs with air that was pregnant with the stench of death. The guard’s boots pounded the floor in rhythm with the beat of his heart. Layne blocked out all sound and closed his eyes. He heart sent firm vibrations throughout his body. He focused on the ripples of motion that were emanating from his advancing adversary. The time was finally right.

His eyes snapped open, his hands ripped the Harbinger from its jewel-encrusted sheath. In one fluid motion, Layne, a silent guardian, lifted the silvery blade into the air and swung it down across the man’s exposed neck. Metal cut flesh and bone with equal ease as the blade descended in its deadly arc. The man’s head, freed from its bonds, sailed into the wall and fell to the cold stone with a wet thud. Blood from the headless neck drenched Layne’s face, before the body teetered to the ground. Silence engulfed Layne. Pain overwhelmed him. The battle fury fled from his body, like a rat fleeing a sinking ship.

Tell me what you think!

All rights reserved. You are not allowed to reproduce this in any form without my direct consent. 

Memoirs of an Insmoniac: 5

Toleration and the United States of America:

There is a common train of thought throughout the world that the United States of America is full of ignorant, intolerant individuals that know nothing of the world. Before The Piebald Penguin went to college, he was only familiar with the concept that outsiders thought poorly of Americans. But once he got to college, he encountered a number of foreign born students who actually thought that Americans were ignorant of culture, religion, and the world. While I won't deny that Americans are woefully ignorant of concepts such as geography and culture, I came to realize that it's ridiculously close-minded to think that Americans are the only people group that are ignorant. Hate me all you want, but at least look at the proof that I provide.

1. Americans are ignorant, but we are not ignorant to the point of developing a national hatred against another people group. Yes, we tend to joke about how cowardly the French are, but we have put aside our differences and forged a military, political, and economic alliance with France. Then you consider that we should "hate" the United Kingdom because they "oppressed" us. But our "oppressors" have become one of our longest, and strongest allies. How about Germany? They dragged us into two World Wars, causing the deaths of thousands of young American men. Do we hold a grudge against them? No, in fact just a few years after Hitler surrendered, it was deemed politically sound to put everything on the line for the starving residents of Berlin (Berlin Airlift). That kind of political turn around is rare. Also, if you compare the United States to other nation-states, you can clearly see that this kind of behavior is rare. The Arabs and Israelis have hated each other since Isaac, the son of Abraham was born. Ishmael was cast out and that event started the enmity between the two peoples.

2. Americans are ignorant of other nations and their cultures, but those nations are just as ignorant of American culture. In fact, they are so ignorant that many children, raised in foreign nations are led to believe that the USA has no culture. That train of thought is the epitome of ignorance. True, American culture is incredibly diverse, but that is easily explained by reading a historical record of the nation's formation. America has been described as a "melting pot" due to the diversity of its populace. But that is an ignorant belief. America is not a "melting pot" anymore than any other nation. The people who live here are American. We allow each other to believe what they want and to live how they'd like. Rebellions have thrown the nation into chaos, riots have changed policies, and men and women of great vision have shaped this country into what it is. As a result, the people who come to America don't have to worry about being something else. They can just be American. What other nation can claim to draw its strength from its diversity?

3. American media is not a proper representation of Americans in general. It's easy to misunderstand that. We share movies, music, and fashion (to some extent) with a plethora (seriously who doesn't love the word plethora? It's so much fun to say. I dare you to sit there and say it aloud and not smile. Double dog dare. Plethora, plethora, plethora, plethora...oh, yeah I was blogging...) of other nations. They see our movies and listen to our music and think that we are a nation of sex-crazed barbarians who love violence. But it's ignorant to not look beyond the superficial media of this nation.

And that's all folks. My conclusion is that Americans are ignorant, yes. But the nations of the world are equally ignorant. Humans like to live in bubbles. That's how we work.

Get Fuzzy by Darby Conly - September 10, 2011

~The Piebald Penguin

Working While Wishing Women Wouldn't War With Willpower

Today is a rather significant day. First, it's the 10 year anniversary of the "terrorist" attacks that destroyed thousands of lives and brought down two monuments to American consumerism. I put "terrorist" in quotes because I think it's a conspiracy by former President Bush to justify his bellicose and aggressive nature. Clearly the "terrorists" were innocent political prisoners who could have shed light on Bush's evil agenda...

Seriously, how can people be so angry with life that they can spout such lies and slander? I know that the last two sentences of the previous paragraph were difficult to write for me. For those of you who are even now forming ugly thoughts of me in your minds, let me put your fears to rest. I don't believe that the 9/11 attacks were a conspiracy. They were committed by men of a foreign nation with the intent to cause harm to our civilian infrastructure. And yet, I did intentionally mean to place quotes around "terrorist". This term has been coined by politicians to refer to men they don't understand.

Honestly, it's just silly. A man blows himself up, killing hundreds of people, and he is branded as a terrorist. A soldier shoots a civilian in a war zone, and he is labelled a murderer by our press and thought of as a monster. That's simply not logical. We have invented a term to appease our collective conscience. "Oh, that man was a terrorist. He didn't know better."

To quote a somewhat well-known American, "War is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over." ~ William T. Sherman

Now you think I just look for cool quotes to justify my point of view, and yes, I admit that I know where to look. But that doesn't make it less true. War is a disgusting practice. Humans kill other humans. It's all about terror and confusion. Every soldier who fights in combat is a "terrorist". His goal is to strike fear in the heart of his opponent so that he can win. 

Yet, we brand a specific style of war as "terrorism". We compartmentalize it. Throw it in a box and get it far away from me. "Those men from that one country far, far away, are like that." We attempt to forget that humans are not good. Why do we do this? Because it interferes with the majority's concept of a "good life". We want everyone to get along and live their lives in peace. But peace isn't an option. Humans are not good. Humans are irrational, emotional, aggressive, vindictive, manipulative, and selfish (not to mention ignorant). 

Violence erupts between two human beings far more often than it erupts between two nations, but we choose to view our leaders as war-like and spiteful. Some are. But there are a number of men and women who are trying to protect the interests of their constituents (formerly subjects, when kings and queens ruled the earth). 

I guess this is a long-winded way of saying, violence is all around us. Terrorism is all around us. We can't just sit back and pretend it doesn't exist. So long as there are two men and a single woman on this planet, violence will be a part of life. 

This post is already quite lengthy, so I will stop here. But perhaps at a later date I will talk about my views on the "War on Terror". 

Oh and the second reason today is important: This is the last day that I am unemployed. Tomorrow will mark the first day in my life that I will be employed by a company, while not actively attending an academic institution. So, yeah. Big day.

~The Piebald Penguin