Elmer's Press and Punches from the Sun

I was driving to work the other day, and I had the pleasure of pulling up behind a moving truck that had definitely seen better days. It was a rental truck from a small company that I didn't recognize. Fortunately, it had an advertisement for itself on the truck. So I took a picture.

Really, I just love the URL. Because you know that it's supposed to be "Elmer's Express", but since URLs don't have punctuation, it looks like "Elmer Sex Press". It made me laugh.


Oh, and in other news....there was supposed to be a large solar storm yesterday. A solar flare erupted on the surface of the sun on Sunday sending a whole lot of radioactive particles toward the earth. The radiation was supposed to disrupt GPS systems and other communications, but I didn't really notice anything odd. Still, an interesting thing to note is that the earth has a fairly good defensive barrier that protects all us pathetic life forms from all this nasty business. Something to be thankful for.

~TPP

Memoirs of an Insomniac: 6

"The Sun goes down, the stars come out..." Unless you're The Piebald Penguin...in which case there should be an additional phrase: "and the stars faded in favor of the light from the burning sunrise." Or something like that.

Do you ever say something (whether verbally or in written form) and then instantly regret saying it? And then spend the next half an hour trying to explain why you said what you said, when the answer should have just been "yes" to begin with? Dwelling on such thoughts seldom return a positive yield, yet such thoughts are what keep me awake into the wee hours of the morning. You know the sad thing about all this? It doesn't even really matter. I mean, not in the long run. Probably not in the less-than-long run either. It is what is.

It's the small things that make or break the day. I like to think that I deal with most day-to-day stress decently well because I am pretty good at taking pleasure in the small things. Like drinking cheap grape soda. Or, when I'm at working, helping a server who's nice to me. It's these small things that get me through each day. The placement of jacket next to mine, a parked car. I think it helps that I like symbols. Even if no one else sees life the way I do. I like to find the hidden meaning in something. More importantly, I like to have a hidden meaning behind my actions. Which is not a segue into my next paragraph...

My manager asked me a great question at work today. I was doing my job, bussing a dirty table and setting silverware on it, when my manager turned away from her previous conversation and said, "Piebald, you're still here?" I looked at her, then down at myself, and then back at her, and then back at myself again. And I replied with (something to the effect of), "Uh...." But my thought process was something like this..."Of course I'm still here. Where else would I be? I think the fact that we're having this dialogue is indicative of the answer to your question. I am physically present, yes...but mentally I'm elsewhere. Are you blind? Yes, I don't leave without permission, and you have yet to provide me with said permission." It was a silly question. Who did she think I was? Probably Tadpole (that's not his name...but it is an anonymous blog for a reason...) Tadpole frustrates the managers because he sometimes leaves without making sure it's ok with the managers. Oh Tadpole. He's quite the character. He's likeable enough, but he isn't really very good at his job. Which is slightly infuriating because it's not a difficult job. But if he doesn't do his work, then those of us who work with him have to pick up his slack. Because it looks bad on all of us. So, really, we should be able to fire/hire people. If we're going to get flack for having a weak link, then we should be able to break that link and reforge the chain...hopefully stronger than before. I suppose that's essentially social evolution.

After spending fifteen minutes looking through lolcats picutres, this is the one I decided on. Because it's awesome. Yep.

~The Piebald Penguin

Hark! Holidays Hear Happy Hearths and Haggard Harpies

Happy New Year and Merry Christmas!

I know, I know. I haven't posted ANYTHING recently. And you've all been waiting patiently for the next story, or joke, or anything that is remotely amusing. And I know I missed my deadline for reaching 150 posts (like big time missed it. I think I'm more than 30 posts short and it's the 3rd week of January? Yep.) but I'm back from an extended break! Hopefully there will be a more regular schedule (I also know that I say this a lot and then it never happens. *Fingers crossed*)

So, what have you all missed from my life? Well, the week before Christmas was just crazy at work. I had the pleasure of working Christmas Eve and let me tell you how that went. IT WAS RIDICULOUS. Ok, there I said it. It really was. The restaurant was a mess by the end of the night. We had so many large parties come in that night. Which I don't really understand. If you have all your family together, why don't you all get together and cook a big meal? Or a small meal? Why go out to a chain restaurant that serves overpriced food? Anyways, it doesn't matter because it's over now.

Christmas was incredibly pleasant. Just me and Goraxypox in our apartment. I cooked up some steaks for dinner, played Skyrim for a few hours and then did laundry. Oh yeah. Because Christmas day was technically just one of my days off that week, and I was working so much that I had to wash my clothes on every day off that I had.

The week after Christmas was worse than the week prior to Christmas. It was busy, busy, busy, and I worked a lot and didn't have much time for anything else. And then New Year's came and went in a flash. And it's just been work as usual for the last couple of weeks.

Until this week when it SNOWED. So, that's made life interesting. The streets are icy and crashes are common. Getting to work has become an adventure.

And that's been my life, as of late.
Stay frosty!
~The Piebald Penguin

4 Shots

Ok, to be honest, the rest of the 4th shot was worse than the 1st. You'd think that I would be used to it by now, but...oh well. 4 shots in an hour and a half. And I can still spell. Well, mostly. My grammar is probably atrocious, and I apologize for that. But there's not much I can do about it now because this is definitely getting posted.

I spilled water on my desk tonight. I bumped my cup, full of water, and watched as it splashed over my bills. Oddly enough, I didn't care about my bills getting wet, but I did care that another piece of paper got wet. It's just a phone number, one that I put in my phone 2 weeks ago. So, it's not even important. However, I keep the paper around for sentimental purposes. And it got splashed by the water. But it's ok. The water has dried, and the paper is still intact.

So, interesting note: I think that 4 shots in less than 2 hours is more than enough to make my head spin. I'm going to have to call it a night and hope that I can wake up for work tomorrow because I'm very tired. Yeah, this will probably be more interesting for me to read tomorrow than for any of my readers. Yay!

Alcohol is a great painkiller.
~The Piebald Penguin

P.S. I'm not editing the last 3 posts, so they're probably silly...

3.5 Shots

Oddly enough, my Pandora radio station has played several ads for Smirnoff Vodka. But those ads are usually only for flavored vodka, which I think defeats the purpose. You drink it, and it makes your head spin. It's not supposed to taste good. It's effective. And it keeps you warm. I can save money on the electric bill by drinking more! That sounds like a good plan to me. Heck, I had to open the window to cool off my room...and it's cold outside. But I'm in a t-shirt and jeans.

Sometimes I ponder the complexities of life. Like, why couldn't I have grown up in a rich household that always has premium quality alcohol in stock? Random thought: I probably shouldn't "like" songs on Pandora while under the influence. Because I occasionally find a song that has been "liked" that I have no idea why it is such. Also, Christmas is a week from yesterday. I still haven't done any Christmas shopping. I think I'm going to fight the system this year and refuse to buy anyone presents. And I'll probably get disowned from my family! Woohoo!

Don't forget to shop!
~The Piebald Penguin

3 Shots

Dull senses and a numb mind characterize The Piebald Penguin. I suppose 3 shots of vodka in a row will do that to some people. I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to feel anymore. But let's be honest, even after 3 shots, vodka is still gross. Ordinarily I don't like a non-functional mind. Though tonight seems to be a good night for it. Perhaps the best part about drinking is being able to turn up the volume on your music with each successive shot. If only I had speakers and not headphones...

It's from France, but it does the trick.

~The Piebald Penguin

Work Notes

A list of odds and ends:

1. Being a busser at a large chain restaurant means I'm invisible...until something goes wrong, and then it's the busser's fault.

2. Being a busser at a large chain restaurant means I can be lazy and slow, and it will look like I'm doing my job as well as I can.

3. Being a busser at a large chain restaurant means I only have a grade school level education (wouldn't that be interesting...)

4. Being a busser at a large chain restaurant means that I overhear conversations about everything imaginable. From nerds discussing achievements in video games to gossip about the mistakes that others have had.

5. Being a busser at a large chain restaurant means that I do a lot of work and receive very little credit (I'm like one of the elves who visit the cobbler's shop when he's sleeping. It may be a thankless job, but I am a vital cog in the machine)

6. Being a busser at a large chain restaurant means that I get to see a completely different version of servers. They pretend to be happy and nice to get tips, but most (not all) of them are dim-witted, fussy nincompoops, who have to be coddled. (Is this a jaded view? Yes. Are there good servers? Yes, but they are the minority)

7. Being a busser at a large chain restaurant means that I don't ever want to use linen napkins at another restaurant again...or the silverware....or even the table.

Yep, seven is a good number to end on.

Happy Tuesday!
~The Piebald Penguin